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It was hard enough growing up in a lower tier crime family. But, imagine growing up and feeling the whole time like you didn’t “belong” – like somehow you ended up with the wrong family. When I was 40, I learned that I was right – my actual biological dad was a sperm donor and none of the various men my mom and my family’s stories told me was my dad. But, I would also learn that the other family to which I did belong – my family of donor conceived siblings – they were and are amazing!
Show Notes
Families can be like icebergs. They seem kind of harmless on the surface. Underneath however? They’re massive monsters, always lurking, always threatening. My family was complicated because my mom Phyllis was incapable of sexual fidelity. Something inside her just couldn’t tolerate being “loyal” that way. And, so, there were always new and different men coming into and out of our lives as I grew up. My siblings have different fathers.
For the first 12 years of my life, I thought a man named Frank was my father. And though he sexually abused me, I still related to him as “daddy”. When Phyllis decided to leave Frank for another man (Miguel), I wanted to stay with Frank despite the sexual abuse. Because, I thought, he was my dad.
As we drove away that night, my mom disabused me of that idea. “He’s not your real father anyway,” she told me.
As time went on – and I tried to find out who really was my biological father – a few more “suspects” appeared and disappeared. I thought I knew who my dad was when, at 40, I took a 23AndMe DNA test – not expecting any surprises. Not only did I find my actual biological father (well, I found out who he was/is), I found a whole family of donor conceived siblings – “diblings”!
And, can I tell you? It’s truly wonderful feeling like you do belong to a family!
The Hall Closet is written by Donna Hall and A L Katz. Costard & Touchstone Productions produced it. Donna Hall and A L Katz are the executive producers.
CONTENT/TRIGGER WARNINGS
The Hall Closet is not intended for sensitive audiences. Domestic abuse, violence, child endangerment, adultery, explicit language.
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